Golf jokes and funny golf stories from Duffer Dave
Golf is a funny sport. My golf balls are in the water and so are my clubs. I don't break par on the golf course, but I'm hoping my web page is a hole-in-one. We're all a little bit sports crazy. Fore !!
Humor for the Golfer
All I've got against golf is that it takes you so far from the club house.-Eric Linklater
The only reason I ever played golf in the first place was so I could afford to hunt and fish. -Sam Snead
Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses. -Ira Wallach
My doctor's on the Golf Diet. He lives on greens.
If you watch a game, that's fun.
If you play it, that's recreation.
But if you work at it, that's golf.-- -Bob Hope
Most of the people who do great things in life are alone.... especially on a golf course.
A golfer drove his tee shot onto an anthill. After many swings he demolished the anthill, but still had not hit the ball. At this point one of the two ants still alive turned to the other ant and said, "If we're going to survive, we'd better get on the ball!"
Old golfers never quit; they just putter around.
Some golfers know more ways to slice than a food processor.
Golf has given me an understanding of the futility of human effort.
I play golf in the 70s - when it gets colder, I quit.
If you can smile when all around you have lost their heads -
you must be the caddy.
Golf is a form of work made expensive enough for rich people to enjoy.
Golf: Another method of beating around the bush.
Golf: A game in which you can't improve your lie.
It differs from politics.
Golf: A good walk spoiled. -Mark Twain
Duffer Dave, Golf, Stories, Humor
The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning. He realized that it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny spring day and decided he just had to play golf.
So he told the associate pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him.
Then he headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!
About this time, St. Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from heaven and exclaimed, "You're not going to let him get away with this, are you?"
The Lord sighed and said, "No, I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball. It shot straight toward the pin, dropped just short of it, and rolled up and fell into the hole.
IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!
St. Peter was astonished. he looked at the Lord and asked, "Why did you let him do that?!
The Lord smiled and replied, "Who's he going to tell?"
Telling It Like It Is, All Golf Jokes
You might be a redneck if you've ever made a golf bag out of pvc pipe.
Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees. ~ Bob Hope said that.
The Complete Book of Golf Chapter 9. How to Find That Ball That Everyone Saw Go in the Water
The Complete Book of Golf Chapter 5 ~ Using Your Shadow on the Greens to Maximize Earnings
The Complete Book of Golf, Chapter 2. How To Hit a Nike from the Rough, When You Hit a Titleist from the Tee
From The Complete Book of Golf, Chapter 1. How to properly line up Your Fourth Putt
My golf partner had a heart attack and died on the course. The rest of the day, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry!
The Complete Book of Golf, Chapter 3, How to Avoid the Water When You Lie 8 in a Bunker.
A kind-hearted man saw a little boy trying to reach a doorbell. He rang the bell for him, then said:
"What now, my little man?"
"Run like crazy," said the boy. "That's what I'm going to do!"
Well, that's all, folks! This is Duffer Dave's page.
Before they made me, they broke the mold.
I'd like to thank the entire gang. I'm just happy that I'm not the only slacker in the crew. You make me proud.
Thanks for sharing! You make good things happen.
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