Karl: Happy Birthday to a sensational person ... who is still older than me!

Becca: Happy Birthday, Damon! I wouldn't say you're old......I'd say you were in a state of advanced maturity!

Allison: Happy Birthday to a man who looks great in spandex.

Jake: She's out there. She's coming for you. The Birthday Fairy strikes again.

Damon: What have we got here, models, millionaires and rock gods?

Becca: Since it's your birthday, we've done something special for you. We're all getting together to have a wild and crazy time... and we've voted you "designated driver."

Kitty: If you tell everyone I've gotten thinner... I'll say you've gotten younger! Happy Birthday!

Damon: Hi, beautiful! Thanks for visiting.

Jake: In life you're either the hammer or the nail, so the question is on your birthday, would you rather get hammered or get nailed?

Damon: All I want for my birthday is not to be reminded of my age.

Allison: There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

Carl: The fact that it's your birthday is just a coincidence. I was going to party anyway.

Kitty: We put candles on a pizza for your birthday.

Becca: It's a pleasure talking to you again.

Damon: You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day.

Portia: Y'know I wouldn't call you old......I'd call you chronologically challenged! Happy Birthday.

Damon: Do you know what the problem is with being 29? No one believes you're 29!

Jake: Life is beautiful. Keep the laughs coming.

Carl: Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Damon: Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?

Kitty: If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

Allison: Why do you have to "put your two cents in". . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Becca: Can you cry under water?

Kitty: Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?

Jake: If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Allison: If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

Damon: How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Carl: Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

Becca: Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Becca: Why did you just try singing the two songs out loud?

Allison: Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Damon: How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Allison: What disease did cured ham actually have?

Kitty: Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

Becca: If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Jake: Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Kitty: My blog is my life.

Carl: Work is like a rodeo. You put up with a lot of bull and there's always some clown wanting all the attention.

Damon: Ride 'em cowgirl.

Kitty: Yoga keeps me flexible.

Jake: I come in new and exciting positions.

Kitty: In your dreams.

Jake: I could be a Friend with Privileges.

Becca: You're so vain, you probably think this room's about you.

Kitty: I only look innocent.

Jake: Dare to live your dreams.

Carl: I ♥ Desperate Housewives.

Allison: I ♥ chocolate.

Kitty: Hang in there. Moses was a basket case, too.

Portia: I can resist everthing, except temptation.

Kitty: I'm a 10 - The Rumors Are True.

Carl: Third base coach is waving me in.

Allison: Your partridge, my pear tree.

Damon: I may not be perfect, but parts of me are pretty awesome.

Jake: Don't Assume I'm Not Into Cheap Mindless Fun.

Allison: Wild thing.

Carl: Clothing optional beyond this point.

Kitty: Stop the furry fun. The animals are acting up.

Jake: Just because it's Friday.

Portia: Full moon.

Allison: Club Sandwiches, Not Seals.

Damon: I majored in extreme surfing.

Portia: It's the Surfer Sam Birthday Invitational.

Jake: Free Surfing Lessons.

Portia: You could win the International Bellyflop Championships.

Carl: Talented in so many ways.

Kitty: I majored in Party.

Jake: Getting lucky ain't just for the Irish. ♣

Carl: This is my lucky shirt. ♣

Becca: Taken, except on spring break.

Allison:It's only cheating If you remember.

Becca: Talk to the paw.

Kitty: It's your birthday, So pucker up and kiss another year good-bye.

Damon: No money, no car, no job, but I'm in a band.

Portia: Naturally talented.

Allison: Single and ready to mingle.

Jake: Unleash your inner cowboy.

Becca: The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

Damon: My life is based on a true story.

Jake: Let's get shipwrecked.

Carl: Now holding auditions for the girlfriend position.

Portia: Dogs come when they are called. Cats take a message and might get back to you.

Carl: Under the competent and skilled direction of the Beach Party Patrol.

Becca: Who let him in?

Damon: Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you. But when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Carl: Effortless cool.

Portia: My Mom told me to choose friends who'd be a good influence on me. Aren't you glad I didn't listen?

Becca: Chicks Rule.

Jake: Lots of people send birthday cards with money in them. But I searched through every rack and there wasn't one like that. Oh, well, Happy Birthday.

Allison: Happy Birthday. You're another year more adorable.

Becca: Birthdays are fun. Birthdays are nifty. You're getting a card, instead of a gifty.

Carl: As they say out west, hope your birthday really kicks Butte.

Damon: Oh, thank you. Thank you. My undying gratitude is yours.

Becca: Don't let it go to your head.

Jake: These blue eyes need visual stimulation.

Portia: Love you guys.

Allison: Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

Jake: I am the After Party.

Becca: I think we're done here. Happy endings. Bye.