Wise Wanda and Helpful Harry go mano a mano on cooking, cleaning and housework, but they're so not Martha. You get two experts for the price of one. Wise Wanda Says #1: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. Helpful Harry Says: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake, you are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway. Wise Wanda Says #2: Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle and you'll get perfectly shaped pancakes every time. Helpful Harry Says: Buy the precooked kind you nuke in the microwave for 30 seconds. The hard part is getting them out of the plastic bag. Wise Wanda Says #3: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Helpful Harry Says: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year. Wise Wanda Says #4: To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard boiling. Helpful Harry Says: Who cares if they crack, aren't you going to take the shells off anyway? Wise Wanda Says #5: To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature and roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing. Helpful Harry Says: Sleep with the lemons in between the mattress and box springs. Wise Wanda Says #6: To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stovetop. Helpful Harry Says: Eat out every night and avoid cooking. Wise Wanda Says #7: Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in leftover tomato based sauces and there won't be any stains. Helpful Harry Says: Feed your garbage disposal and there won't be any leftovers. Wise Wanda Says #8: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. Helpful Harry Says: Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you. Wise Wanda Says #9: If you accidentally oversalt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant "fix me up". Helpful Harry Says: If you oversalt a dish while you are cooking, that's too darn bad. My motto: I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes. Wise Wanda Says #10: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks. Helpful Harry Says: Celery? What's celery? Wise Wanda Says #11: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. Helpful Harry Says: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust and so I don't do it. Wise Wanda Says #12: Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it. Helpful Harry Says: Brown sugar is supposed to be soft? Wise Wanda Says #13: When boiling corn on the cob, add a pinch of sugar to help bring out the corn's natural sweetness. Helpful Harry Says: The only kind of corn I buy comes in a can. Wise Wanda Says #14: To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh, but if it rises to the surface, throw it away. Helpful Harry Says: Eat, cook, or use the egg anyway. If you feel bad later, you will know it wasn't fresh. Wise Wanda Says #15: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. Helpful Harry Says: Wanda, dear, the only reason this works is because you can't rub a lime on your forehead without getting lime juice in your eye, and then the problem isn't the headache anymore, it is because you are now blind. Wise Wanda Says #16: Don't throw out all that left-over wine. Freeze it into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Helpful Harry Says: Left-over wine? Wise Wanda Says #17: If you have a problem opening jars: Try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. Helpful Harry Says: Me strong man. I can open every jar. It's closing them that's my problem. If you need help opening jars, go ask the very cute neighbor to do it. Wise Wanda Says #18: Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water. Helpful Harry Says: Mashed potatoes will now be replacing the anti-bacterial soap in the handy dispenser next to my sink. Wise Wanda Says #19: Now look what you can do with Alka Seltzer: Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreous china. Clean a vase. To remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets. Polish jewelry. Drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes. Clean a thermos bottle. Fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary). Helpful Harry Says: Put your jewelry, vases, and thermos in the toilet. Add some Alka-Seltzer and you have solved a whole bunch of problems at once. Kinda makes you wonder about Alka-Seltzer, doesn't it? Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out. A CLEAN HOUSE IS A SIGN OF A WASTED LIFE. "M" stands for Mom, not Maid. Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the happiness and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a peaceful day) Email this page to a friend. ...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while!! Return to the top.

Cooking, Cleaning and Housework. Funny Household Hints. So not Martha. Funny jokes and stories, games, news, travel, free ecards, famous quotes, friends, fun. Laugh a lot. Meet the gang. Life's a beach. Surfer Sam!