Funny Quotes
It's a COMEDY ROAST with Funny Insults,
Great Grudges and Famous Quotes.

Heck, we can't all be perfect!

"I feel so miserable without you, it's almost like having you here."
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
"He had delusions of adequacy."
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but... This wasn't it!!"
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play, bring a friend... if you have one."
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
"Interpreter! Interpreter! How do you say the opposite of Vive Le France?"
"A sheep in sheep's clothing."
"There but for the grace of God, goes God."
"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but, hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened."

It's All Greek to Me !!
Famous Quotes from the Greeks

To the man who is afraid everything rustles.

The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.

No human thing is of serious importance.

The secret of business is to know something that nobody else knows.

Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.

Well begun is half done.


I hope life brings you much success.
I wish you a very happy day.

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