|
|
|
From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Divorce Settlement
From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Best Divorce Settlement
She spent the first day sadly packing her belongings into boxes, crates and
suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down on the floor in the dining room by
candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of
shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few
half-eaten shrimp and caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods. She
replaced the end caps on the curtain rods and cleaned up the
kitchen. Then she moved out.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.
They tried everything from cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out.
Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air
fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off
poison gas, during which they had to move out for a few days. They even paid to
replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house.
The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and
decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not
find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out and eventually the local realtors refused to return their
calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to
purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going. He told her they were selling the house but did not tell the real reasons why. She listened
politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing
to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea about the smell, he agreed on a price that
was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to
sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers
delivered the paperwork for her to sign.
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the
curtain rods.
I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS, DON'T YOU?
>> Please return to the top.
|
|
|
Howdy! Welcome to Surfer Sam and Friends. We've got blogs, funny jokes, famous quotes, funny pictures, stories, games, travel and sage advice. We've also got free ecards - Surfer Cards - for you to email. So enjoy yourself here. Chill out and relax. Meet the gang. And thanks for helping out, mate. Life's a beach! 
