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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The Priceless Hangover
Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first
thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees
his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is
in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest
of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a
note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to
go shopping. Love You!"
So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is
a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son
is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son,
what happened last ! night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious.
Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a
black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean,
and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your
pants off, you said,
"Lady, leave me alone! I'm married!"
Self-induced hangover -- $100.00
Broken furniture -- $2,000.00
Breakfast -- $10.00
Saying The Right Thing While Drunk -- PRICELESS 
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