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From The Outrageous Funny Story Files...
The World Religions. Theology in a Nutshell.
Taoism: Shit Happens.
Hare Krishna: Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Ding.
Hinduism: This Shit Happened Before.
Islam: If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage.
Zen: What Is The Sound Of Shit Happening?
Buddhism: When Shit happens, is It Really Shit?
Confucianism: Confucius Say, "Shit happens."
7th Day Adventist: Shit Happens on Saturdays.
Protestantism: Shit Won't happen If I Work Harder.
Catholicism: If Shit Happens, I Deserve It.
Jehovah's Witness: Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."
Unitarian: What Is This Shit?
Mormon: Shit Happens Again & Again & Again.
Judaism: Why Does This Shit Always happen To Me?
Rastafarianism: Let's Smoke This Shit.
Just in the spirit of fun. No hard feelings?!! 
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